Generous self-control

More on Piety in the Home by Caleb Stetson (see post http://bostonunitarian.blogspot.com/2008/12/piety-at-home.html ) Following are illustrations of the basic premise that the domestic sphere is the primary Christian proving ground...

"Our domestic relations are far more intimate, and have far greater influence on our characters, than any other. Every family is a little community, bound together by the tenderest and holiest sympathies...This intimate union, or rather identity, of interests, gives rise to many duties, out of which must grow habits of virtue. One of the best of these habits is that of generous self-control—not seeking our own gratification so much as the comfort of the domestic circle—' preferring one another in love.' As all the members or" a family are dependent on each other for a large part of their comfort, each must be willing to sacrifice, not only his whims and caprices, but sometimes his reasonable wishes. How lovely and excellent is domestic affection, prompting unselfish and untiring exertions, and finding happiness while seeking only to bestow it!...There is indeed no school like home for the discipline of the temper and the heart. Whether your position requires you to command or obey—to work with the hands or the mind—to give or to receive, you may always find occasion for forbearance, and self-denial.
The Christian character is never more likely to grow strong and healthful than in this perpetual round of obscure and unostentatious duties. Its virtues then are genuine and substantial; for they have not been practised to be '" seen of men ;'—no one can be always a hypocrite at home..." The full text, of which this post is only a very small part, can be found at http://books.google.com/books?id=QOYRAAAAIAAJ&pg=RA4-PA25&dq=ephesians+unitarian&ie=ISO-8859-1&output=html.

Many of the central tenets of Boston Unitarianism are illustrated in this wonderful text. Calm and unostentatious virtue and morality, disinterestedness, self-denial, and the excellence and happiness of such a life...Amen and blessings.

Piety at Home

Caleb Stetson, 1793–1870, was a Unitarian minister, mainly in Medford, Mass. and also in Scituate (Norwell) A early member of what is most commonly called The Transcendental Club, Stetson was a friend of Emerson and spoke at a meeting against slavery on the step of Thoreau's hut at Walden Pond.

Known for his sense of humor, Stetson could make even Emerson laugh (see comments on earlier post: http://bostonunitarian.blogspot.com/2008/11/ray-of-spiritual-brightness.html)

I am thinking about Stetson today because I am thinking about one of my favorite words, piety, and, especially, the idea of teaching or inculcating a healthy piety in children. As a DRE and (esp) as a parent of three children, the issue is deeply important to me.

Children have, I firmly believe, a natural piety or capacity for wonder that often deepens my own personal piety. I worry, though, that just about every signal they get in society, in much of daily life, and in just "growing up" work to slowly deaden that natural gift and, for the most part, I feel I don't do nearly enough to counter that.

So back to Stetson. Following are excerpts from Stetson's "Piety at Home", published as an AUA Tract in 1832:

"ST. PAUL, in his epistle to Timothy, charges him to exhort the younger members of families, ' to learn to show piety at home,' as their first duty...I fear it is the tendency of this age, to underrate that kind of piety, which consists in doing right in a natural and quiet way. There is an inordinate appetite for strong sensations and startling effects...When religion is understood to consist in a burning excitement, or an eagerness to exert influence at the greatest possible distance, the commonplace pursuits of daily life do not seem to have dignity enough to be taken under its 'direction. Yet what can Christianity do for a man, better than to make him good in those very relations, which demand his chief care and duty ? In what possible way can it minister to human virtue and happiness more largely, than by rendering us kind, gentle, and faithful in our domestic connections ?...Common virtues are more frequently wanted, and therefore more valuable, than extraordinary ones. If religion has any power in our hearts, it must be manifested chiefly in our doing little things well. When a man separates his religion from his morality, making the former one thing, and the latter another and a different thing, there is great danger that neither will be very good...All duties are religious ones.There may be but little glory, but there is a great deal of merit, and of happiness too, in ' showing piety at home' — in that narrow circle of duty, which God has made the principal sphere of our action."

Tomorrow, more from Stetson's sermon. What are your views on this question? Are all duties religious? Should we be fostering piety in our children? If so, how best? If not, why not?

Blessings